Tips for Dealing with Blind People

Here are some other tips:

• Watch out for half-opened doors. They are a hazard to everyone, but especially to a person who is blind.
• Give directions with the person who is blind as the reference point, not yourself. Say: “You are facing Broad Street, and you will have to cross it and turn to your right to go east on Chestnut Street.”
• When helping the person into a car or taxi, place her hand on the inside door handle, and let her go in alone.
• When entering an unfamiliar office or restaurant, offer your elbow, use specifics such as right or left, and then place his hand on the back of the chair so that he can be seated without further assistance.
• Don’t let self-consciousness or a misplaced sense of protectiveness make you hesitate to tell a blind person that he has egg on his shirt or that his tie is in his soup. Do so in a matter-of-fact tone of voice and let him deal with the problem himself.
• Some people have a tendency to raise their voices when speaking to a blind person. If you catch yourself doing so, stop. It’s annoying.
• When accompanying a person who is blind, do your best to describe the surroundings, especially terrain and spatial relationships.

Recently, I witnessed the following encounter in one of those large chain drug stores. A blind man entered and stopped inside the door. Another customer walked over to him.
“May I assist you?”
“I want to have a prescription filled.”
“The pharmacy section is in the rear of the store. I’d be glad to take you there.”
“Great. Thanks.”
“Take my elbow. We’re going about six feet straight ahead. Now we’re turning right. The floor inclines up, and there are some displays of soda in the middle of the aisle. About four steps more. Okay, shall I get the pharmacist for you?” “No, thanks. I’m fine now that I’m here.”
“Would you like me to wait and escort you out?”
“No, thanks. I can do it now. Thanks a lot.”
As you can see, the person who helped out in this situation was able to combine common sense with simple courtesy in offering help and in providing just the right amount of assistance.

Visual-Impairment Etiquette

In general, guide dogs are working animals, not pets. So don’t pet them. In fact, don’t call their names or distract them in any way. Allow the dogs to accompany their owners into all stores and buildings. These dogs are trained to pay no attention to strangers while working except as objects to be avoided. Attempting to pet them while they are in harness is like urging someone to abandon a good, carefully formed habit. If the dog’s harness is off, it’s okay to ask the owner whether you can pet the animal—but don’t touch it without the owner’s permission. If you are in an environment familiar to a blind person, don’t move things, or if you do, put them back exactly as you found them. Leave closed doors closed, and open doors open. Never leave doors ajar.
Go ahead and offer assistance if you think it might be helpful, but remember that sometimes a person who is blind prefers to get along unaided. If you see a blind person without a guide dog waiting at an intersection, offer to help him or her across.
The fact that the person has stopped at the intersection may signify that he or she is waiting for help.
However, if the person says, “No, thank you,” don’t insist. If the person wants your help, offer your elbow. You will then be walking a step ahead, and the movements of your body will indicate when to change direction, when to stop and start.
Hesitate but do not stop before stepping up or down. You can say, “curb,” or “step down.”

Wheelchair Etiquette

Think of the wheelchair as an extension of the person who uses it. Here are some tips, many of which also apply to those who use crutches, canes, or walkers.

• In general, you should keep your hands off the wheelchair.
• Respect personal space. Particularly avoid patronizing pats. Consider what your own reaction would be to this sort of behavior.
• Try to place yourself at eye level when conversing for any length of time with a person in a wheelchair. It’s impossible to deal with another as a peer if one of you is looking up and the other is looking down. Besides, it’s easier on the neck for both parties and generally more comfortable.
• Don’t move a wheelchair or crutches out of reach of the person who uses them unless you are asked to do so. And if you do move them, remember to place them within the sight of their owner to avoid possible uneasiness or even panic.
• Don’t just decide to help out. Ask first. Push a wheelchair only after asking the occupant if you may do so. A good time to offer help is when the person in the wheelchair is encountering steep inclines or ramps or thick carpets.
• If you’re planning a party or other social function, consider whether the location has access for wheelchairs. Think about such things as steep hills and obstacles when giving directions to the location. Remember that a disabled person may need extra time to reach the destination.

Taboo Words and Phrases for Disabled Persons

The National Easter Seal Society advises us to eliminate certain words and phrases from our vocabulary and to replace them with positive, nonjudgmental terms:

• Eliminate. Victim, cripple, afflicted with or by, and invalid—which connotes “not valid.”
• Replace with. The person with a disability or, more specifically, the person with … or the person who has ….
• Don’t say. Unfortunate, pitiful, poor, dumb (as in mute), deformed, blind as a bat. These terms are stereotypical, judgmental, and downright vulgar.
• Say: Uses a wheelchair instead of wheelchair bound or confined to a wheelchair. Employed in the home is better than homebound employment, when referring to people who must work at home.

What Should You Talk About with a Disabled Person?

People who have disabilities have families, pets, jobs, hobbies, cultural interests, or sports that they participate in. Get to know about them and their interests the same way you would with anyone else, by making conversation. You may be surprised at the range of interests and activities. Focus on who the person is and not the disability.
However, the subject of the disability is not taboo. If it comes up naturally, talk about it:

• The meeting is at four o’clock. Do you need me to come by for you, or will you get there on your own?
• I’ll meet you in the auditorium. There’s an accessible entrance to the left of the main entrance.

However, when talking to someone with a disability, avoid the term handicapped. Use the word disabled and save handicap for golf outings. In addition, say, “the person with the disability,” rather than “the disabled person.”
Say, “the person who has epilepsy,” rather than “the epileptic.” By doing so, you
avoid defining the person as the condition. This practice is not only more considerate
but also more accurate

Ten tips for dealing with disabled persons

Here are 10 practical tips that will help you avoid feeling socially disabled when dealing with the disabled:

1. If you offer assistance, wait until the offer is accepted. Listen for information about what form the assistance should take.
2. Speak directly to the disabled person, not through a third party. This tip is particularly important when addressing a hearing-impaired person and someone else is “signing” for him.
3. Always offer to shake hands.
4. Identify yourself and others to a visually impaired person. Always let them know when you are leaving the room.
5. Treat adults like adults. Don’t use a person’s first name until someone asks you to. Don’t pat. Don’t patronize.
6. Don’t shout.Don’t touch, lean on, or move a wheelchair without permission. Treat the chair as part of the person occupying it.
7. Don’t distract a working seeing-eye dog.
8. When conversing with a person with a speech impediment, listen carefully and never pretend to understand. If in doubt, ask questions. Be patient. Don’t interrupt or inject comments during pauses. Don’t try to fill in a word for someone with a stutter. Don’t raise your voice. Louder is not better.
9. Don’t fret about phrases. Speak as you would normally and don’t worry about using terms such as running around (to someone in a wheelchair) or listen to that or see you later.

After-Dinner Coffee

After-dinner coffee comes in demitasse cups and saucers with small coffee spoons. The cup, saucer, and spoon are to the right of the guest’s place setting. Coffee is served from the right, as are other beverages. Then pass a tray with cream, sugar, and a sugar substitute.
Alternatively, the host can place a large tray containing the coffee service on the table and then pass filled cups to each person.
If you have serving help, you might want to serve coffee away from the dining table, or you can carry the entire coffee service into the living room to pour. In this case, each guest comes up to the host to receive his coffee.
Cordials are served with coffee. You can also ask guests whether they would care for water.
Preparing and serving a dinner for your guests can be as easy or as difficult as you desire. A good idea is to decide well in advance how much effort you are prepared to expend, make a plan, and stick to it. Whatever you decide, your guests will be appreciative.